Advice please people?

Right, my daughter is point blank refusing to do P.E. at school. Now her head of year said they are going to throw her out of school because of this. I recently went to Open evening at school and she's above average and near top on all other subjects and is a good pupil.





I've spoken to her and asked a thousand times why she wont do it, she just says 'cos I'm not. She just will not do it. Simple as that.





Can the head of year actually throw her out of school cos she wont do P.E? Is it worth disrupting all her other subjects that she's doing so well in and move her to another school, where I know she wont do it there either? I'm really stuck on this. Help please.





Thank youAdvice please people?
I really don't think they can toss her out of school for not doing P.E. They can fail her in the class though. There has too be an underlying reason why she isn't doing it, the trick is figuring it out. Maybe she get's made fun of in the class, maybe she has a medical condition that makes exercise painful or makes her feel sick after exercise, maybe she's afraid of some of the things they have to do, maybe she's nervous about changing clothes in front of other people. Either way keep trying to figure it out and get to the bottom of it so you can deal with the problem at it's root.Advice please people?
Tell her youre pulling her out of school and shes gonna do correspondence school from now on. No mucking about just do it.
Hi there.





Not sure how the school can throw her out-- they can fail her, put her on suspension, detention, whatever. But legally at her age she must attend school. Though in serious cases they can actually expel or expunge-- expel-- kick out for a short time, or a determined time; expunge-- kick her out for good.





The real issue here is that your daughter isn't telling you her real reason. ';Cuz I'm not'; doesn't work. She may have a body image ssue-- do they have to change in group locker rooms? It may be because she doesn't want others to see her in her underwear, or she's afraid that for example, if she has her period, how she will handle that. It may be that she gets picked on by the other kids if she's not the skinniest kid in class-- even if she's not fat, kids are cruel. Or SHE may feel fat, or unattractive.





You don't say that she's had this issue in the past. There's an issue here, I'd say it's definitely either an ';other kids'; issue or a body image issue. Explore these ideas. Be prepared for her to deny it all. But think back on how she has spoken in regards to these areas. Then talk with the school about how you can work on a solution TOGETHER-- threatening her with expulsion isn't going to help her. You need to find the truth before you can solve this issue.





Good luck.
This might be the stupidest question but at 14 yrs old, this is what goes through their head.





Does she have her period? Does she have boobs? Like has she started to develop?





Sometimes girls get VERY uncomfortable around other girls and even worse, around other boys, especially if one is her crush.





My guess is she's being flat out a 14 yr old that won't do what she's told. But her grades and other reports make me find that hard to believe. And the other guess is she has a big issue with the PE teacher. Or some kids are making fun of her in class causing her to not want to change into gym clothes??





I wish I knew what else to say, but those are the things that jump out at me.





Best of luck to you!
How old is she, i have a teenage son and if he refused to do a lesson in school (even P.E) i would say well you are grounded ,no pocket money,no computer and i would want a better answer than 'cos I'm not. You need to find out why 'cos I'm not. is not good enough then you can sort it out with the school and they may be a bit more sympathetic with her,when you have a very good reason.
It's been a few years since I have been in school but when I was they let the fact that I walked a mile to and from school pass as P.E. because I too was embarrassed in changing room and has issues with others. So, Maybe the school should think out of the box if she is such a good student in all other classes.
I'm not sure if they can throw her out but they can fail her in that class and she may either have to take a summer course for it or keep repeating it until she passes. Obviously transferring her to another school isn't going to help the situation if she's doing well in all other classes. You need to get down to the root of the problem. Why is she not participating? ';Cause I'm not'; is most likely not the REAL reason either. Is it an embarrassment factor?
When I was at school I hated P.E too, mainly because I was bullied by the other girls in the changing room.


I was shy about my body and the other girls picked up on that and used it against me, hence lots of skipping P.E!


She may be embarrassed about being different from the other girls, or may be someone is picking on her.


If this is the case try telling her she can wear her P.E kit under her clothes on P.E days so she has it on already.


Does she know she is being threatened with expulsion?


Is there any way you can get a meeting together with the head of year, you and your daughter and try to get to the bottom of the problem? by all talking together, with no arguments or accusations from anyone?


I know it is very hard but if she is in the position I was in then I know exactly how she feels, and there isn't much you can do to make her feel better.


May be you could take her out and have a girly day and by some nice underware so she feels more confident getting changed? I would have felt better if my mum had done that.


Hope you get to the bottom of it.
I was the same at school. I did well in other subjects but was poor at physical activities. I was always picked last for teams and my reports for P.E. were always graded very low where as everything else was high.





There could be many 'real' reasons she's avoiding the class. Maybe she doesn't like getting changed in front of other girls. Perhaps the teacher picks on her. Maybe she's bulllied by other pupils for not being so good at games as they are. Perhaps she's embarrassed by what she has to wear. Does she have to have enforced showers in front of everyone? That would put anyone off! Girls of her age are often worried about doing P.E. whilst menstruating - could this be the problem?





Try to find out exactly what is bothering her and finding out exactly what is putting her off. For example, if she doesn't like wearing a skirt (some schools make them do this), buy her something more comfortable like track suit bottoms or suggest she wears shorts under the skirt.





Whatever it is, reassure her that doing badly at games makes not a jot of difference to your life when you leave school and she should be proud of her achievements in other classes - they are what really matter.
I know here if a kid doesnt do PE and they are in high school they will not throw them out but they will not graduate ever until they have two years of it. That is in the state curriculim and the kids have no choice.





Sit down with your daughter and explain to her that she has to have PE credits in order to be able to graduate from high school and then tell her that just saying she isnt going to do it isnt enough you need to know why so you can help her figure out a solution. My daughter hated PE because hse didnt like having to dress out for it and change in a locker troom full of other kids, one of her friends had a hard time with it because she was a little on the heavy side and felt emabarrased by it and the other girls teased her. You really need to find out what the deal is.





If a child has a medical condition that prohibits them from PE then a doctor can file forms and they can get them in health classes etc but you have to know whats what before you can help and switching schools is only going to delay it again.
All the reasons stated in previous answers are valid...BUT tough, we all have had to do it, we've all felt embarrased getting changed, felt that it was hard work and going to kill us (im remembering cross country not so fondly) The problem really is that she is able to point blank refuse and get away with it. She is only 14 and should do as she's told, is she going to cop out of everything if she doesnt feel like it, if she gets away with this is it going to be maths next that she decides she's not goping to do... i dont mean to sound harsh but you get my gist.





Unless she is able and willing to tell you in a mature way, a very good reason, one you feel like you can agree and back her up I think you should be getting tough on her.





Im not sure if she can be expelled for not doing p.e but she can be expelled for obstructive behaviour...if she is having rows with teachers and disobeying rules (which refusing to join in is) they cannot be seen to tolerate this, imagine the knock on effect for the rest of the class.





I do feel for you because these teenage years are tough and you cant be a puppet master and make her move her limbs during p.e. but i think you have to take a very firm line with her or she is in danger of being the one in control in your household.good luck
she obviously has some issue with this class.


I'm for freedom of choice. there is always home schooling. maybe you can find some religious or medical reason for them to excuse her from this class....explore your options.
i have the same problem with my daughter, however she is five!


Obviously it wont be the same but i have found out that my daughters problem is that see is embarrassed to show the boys her pants!


Maybe your daughter has issues with her body, getting changed in front of people.


Has she given you a reason she why she doesn't want to do it!


I don't think the school will be allowed to throw her out, they will have to come to an arrangement with your daughter to ease her into PE slowly.


Good luck.
I would find a positive way to help her.


Mom. go to school and use the toilets with your daughter to show her that she is ok


Try a reward system- ask if the teacher wil have a piece of paper where your daughter gets a star each time she uses the bathroom school. She might have a huge bladder and doesnt need to go to the toilet for a long time