Advice needed people!!?

Sick of feeling like this!! Any thoughts peeps?


Complicated one.


What do you do in this situation?


Before I start, I'm a very reasonalbe person who is not insecure at all, or at least until all of this happened.


I have a very attractive girlfriend of 13 months. About six months ago, I grew suspicious about her behavior and found out (she admitted) that she very nearly met a pilot for lunch where she works. She allegedly dated this guy although she denies this but they are not ';co-workers'; and have no real reason to meet up. As ashamed as I am to admit this, I checked her phone and saw a text to him with a kiss on the end and one from him with a kiss on the end. Basically she cancelled due to ';work'; but will never know if this was the truth or if she grew some conscience at the last minute.


I'm not naive, and could tell that but for the grace of god, something very nearly started between them. (again???)


She admitted it when confronted and could not provide an innocent explanation. She also admitted that she had tarnished our relationship.


She cried and begged a second chance but I find it so difficult to trust her again. She still works in the industry and comes into contact with pilots everyday. She said they were just friends, but she never told me about him. Yes she didn't meet him but the deceit was there.


I want to move on but cant forget. She begged forgiveness and agreed to destroy this and her ex-boyfriends phone numbers.


I found them hidden six weeks later.


She was mortified and agreed she is lucky I stayed with her after he deceit. I pay for nearly everything as her family don't have much money.


She said i was the first to meet her family, yet she later admitted that this wasnt the case. Why did she need to lie about that?


From that point six months ago, couldnt trust this girl. Always felt that she wasnt that bothered about me.


Problem I ve got is that I feel I'm costantly waiting for something like this to happen again. The guy in question moved away but could return at any point in the future and I could'nt face ';hoping'; nothing went on again.


GF is lovely to me now, but just cant relax, got the wierdest feeling that heartache around the corner?! Also, does zero for one's self esteem, I mean, I've got a good job but if you fear your GFis attracted to airline pilots, and she works in the industry, where do you go from there!! lol


Any thoughts??Advice needed people!!?
she's not ready for a committed relationship. you should move on to someone that is. you'll never be able to trust her and that's no way to live. at least you find this out now before you marry her or something.Advice needed people!!?
If you have to go through someone's phone, there is no trust. Without trust, there is no relationship PERIOD.
If she is unwilling to change her career, then possibly you do need to move on. It sounds like she is still very young....possibly she needs to expand her horizon before settling down
Don't walk away from this girl......RUN!





From the picture you are painting, she wants your money to spend, but doesn't care about you.





You catch er doing something wrong, and she begs you to forgive her, just to do something again 6 weeks later?





If you can't see her for what she is, prepare yourself for a lot of heartbreak in life.
Wow. You are in between a rock and a hard place. First of all, sounds like she is in the habit of lying to you, or hiding things from you at least. If time has went by (the 6 weeks) and you found out she was hiding the numbers, then she obviously wasn't planning on following thru with what she said. Sounds like once a cheater, always a cheater. If you truly love her, sit her down, tell her this behavior has got to stop. Make her destroy the numbers, explain to her you will not tolerate this behavior again. It is cheating, whether there was sex or not. But she could be lying to you about that also. Without trust, there can't be love, without love, there is no relationship. It might be worth seriously considering whether you want to face this reoccurring problem, or whether its just time to walk away from her. I feel for you either way. Be honest with her, set some very serious limits, if you want her. MAKE HER RE-GAIN YOUR TRUST. She is the one that messed up, now she needs to make it better or leave. Good luck either way. Sounds like your a hell of a nice guy.