Relationship advice. Seeking people who have been in relationship in a long time or married.?

My boyfriend and I love each other, but recently, we have been kindda rocky due to external factors: his family - parents long divorced with not a lotta foundation and alcoholic father (enough said) whom which he lives with. What to do? His family will always be around, will our relationship last with our love alone, knowing his family for the most part won't change? I was thinking that things will get better because he will move out in two years and get his own life started (since he's giving his dad money, he has stumped his life and starting school late cuz of full time job), so things will be better for us. How do couples handle the in-laws and is it okay to not like them and not be around them? Or do you need to suck it up and pretend to like them for the relationship? He understands my position on his family, but it isn't right for him to choose between me and his family. Does anyone have any similar situations with conflict with lover's family members?Relationship advice. Seeking people who have been in relationship in a long time or married.?
I think I may be able to help, as I have been in a similar situation for a long time. My (second) wife and I have been married for nearly 13 years; we both had children from our previous marriages, and have one son together. My wife's parents are divorced; her mother (with whom I get on exceptionally well), lives in another state, and her father lives about three hours drive from us. And he and I don't like each other at all. We have, for many years, ';tolerated'; each other for the sake of my wife, but begrudgingly. But even that tenuous connection went downhill over two years ago, when I had a fight with one of my stepsons...of course, dear old grandpa has to stick up for his grandson, and has tried his hardest ever since to break my wife and I up. Now of course I'm not too impressed by all this (and please don't get me wrong, I'm not blaming my stepson 100% for the fight, I know that I am at least 50% to blame...but what I object to is that the old codger can't see that). I have no intention of seeing him again (I haven't for over two years), and I am perfectly comfortable with my position. But my wife isn't, she wants her father and husband to get on, which is fair enough, and if ever I do ';patch things up'; with him, it will be for her, certainly not for me, and DEFINITELY not for him. So, to answer your question - you will be married to (or living with) your boyfriend, not to his family. You must do what you feel comfortable with, and if you truly love each other your relationship will last the distance. There will be great pressure from family members to break up, but if you are strong you should be able to resist it. In my case, what my stepson and father in law don't realise is that the more they try to break us up, the stronger my resolve to stay becomes.


You don't mention YOUR family - how do they get on with your boyfriend? Are they a source of strength, do they support your relationship? My advice is to hang in there, don't let them bring you down. Good luck!