I'm writting a book and i need advice of people i dont know!!! Someone please help meeeee!!!!?

its not done yet but ill give u an excerpt








It was the best of times; it was the worst of times. Okay, maybe it wasn’t the best but it definitely was the worst. Aleia Bovisi was the reject of the school. She had no friends and everyone called her a geek. But, not even the mocha chinos in her face everyday at lunch could stop her. She was determined to become popular. Her dad is mega rich and once she tried the “buy everything ♥Louis Vuitton♥,” scheme. That still didn’t work! Everyone just made fun of her more. Now she was so desperate she asked her dad to let her record album. He was still debating on it but he always said yes to those kinds of things.





“Come on Dad crank up the tunage!”





“All right lets put on some Lil’ 50 cent!”


Oh no he’s trying to act cool!





“Uh Dad I hate to break it to you but do you want Lil’ John or 50 cent?”





“Who and who?”





“Oh, Dad just forget it! This is why I control the tunage!”I'm writting a book and i need advice of people i dont know!!! Someone please help meeeee!!!!?
I don't know exactly what you need help with, other than grammar/punctuation. You also forgot the word ';an'; between the words record and album in the 2nd to the last sentence of the long paragraph.I'm writting a book and i need advice of people i dont know!!! Someone please help meeeee!!!!?
what are you asking? this needs a lot of work but i guess it could turn out good if you put your mind to it.
write book but write the truth.