9 weeks is way too early. My doctor doesn't suggest any crying before 4 months and only controlled crying to 6 months. My son is 9 months and we just started it this week. For his first 3 months he did sleep on me for all naps and we co-slept at night. Suddenly at 3 months he was ok sleeping on his own, not falling asleep on his own but I could put him down. It did not create a habit. Nursing to sleep did which is why we have started CIO, he was waking to nurse 4-6 times a night. I can handle and expect 1-2 times at night but 4-6 times was just too much.Need advice from people who have had success with cry-it-out, not a lecture from those against it!?
Be very careful of security issues for baby here. He is so little. He only wants to know you are near. He won't be this little forever Mom. Cuddle him. I have an 8 week old- same thing. Mine tends to cry in the night due to colic. I do not leave her alone, just too young yet.
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I have a 4 month old who sleeps 12 hours per night and has 3 consistent naps per day, she puts herself to sleep easily, wakes up happy and her temperment is wonderful. You know why? She knows how to self-soothe. You know how? I let her cry bit from early on to learn to put herself to sleep.
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I tried this with my son and when I first began this process I'd just extend the crying time by a couple of minutes. So at first I would let him cry for 5 min then the next night by 7 and then so on. Eventually it did work. Not to say it wasn't hard but I just kept at it and it seemingly worked. I also what seemed to help is that the bassinet he was in had a vibration so it felt like he was on someone. Maybe you can try that.
Good luck!!!
I know it's exhausting, but that's what being a mom is, at least for the first year or so!
No lecture, but your son is simply showing you that he needs YOU. He needs your comfort and touch. I wouldn't let him cry it out, especially at this age. A baby cries for a reason, and sometimes it's just the need of being comforted by Mommy. That need is as real as the need for food.
9 weeks is WAY too young for CIO. Be a mother and do your job. Who cares if he is crying ';only'; because he wants to be picked up?! Pick him up. He is a flipping newborn. I mean, really. Your his mother and he NEEDS you. You can't be bothered to pick him up? What in gods name is so important that you can't pick him up? If you let your 9 week old cry it out, you are lazy and selfish.
ETA: So all you want is people who are going to tell you what you are doing is right? I'm sorry but why ask a question in an open forum and try to censor the answers you get? Okay, you want me to say it nicer? What you are doing wrong. Even the biggest supporters of cry it out, including Ferber himself, say that CIO isn't to be used on an a baby younger than 6 months. Cry it out has been linked to higher rates of SIDS and stress levels in infants {called cortisol } It is your job as a mother to attend to your babies needs, ever if it's just being help. I will ';lecture'; you because you need it, obviously. You need to actually do some research on the subject. I'm sorry if I cannot find it in myself to feel sorry for you. This is what being a parent is all about. Why are you in such a rush for your baby to act and sleep like an adult?
My son cried like that at that age too. I think I slept on the recliner with him on top of me for a while, but eventually he didn't need me anymore. You might give him just a little longer to adjust to being on his own. My husband had to remind me that the baby just wanted to be close to me. I know it is frustrating.
Since he likes to sleep by you, could you get a bed side co-sleeper? He would sleep longer since he could feel you there and you wouldn't have to worry about rolling on him.
I've had great success with Non CIO, I wont lecture you, if you wish to hear about it, email me. I wont impose it on you. :o)
Whether people support it or not, health professionals dont recommend it until at least 6 months.
I think we have lost a lot of common sense in child rearing due to the fact that the average person no longer raises livestock. Back when people had cows, horses, cats, dogs, and a whole lot more (because that's just what everyone did - or at least their neighbor did), people were exposed to a lot of natural, instinct-based child-rearing.
Watch a cat who has babies. She will not leave her kittens but very briefly to wolf down some food and go potty. This is typically for the first 2 weeks (the equivalent of 2-4 months for a human). After this intense time of staying so attached to her kittens, she will only gradually stray away from them for only gradually longer periods of time.
Mamma cat sleeps with her kittens, nurses them quite often, and you will often find her snoozing while they suckle.
I've got 3 children, and my 1st is 12. I was very young when I had him and I bought into the CIO procedures that I was told to do by family and doctors. I was older when I had my 2nd and 3rd and had learned some more things from life, in general, and as a parent. We co-slept w/ #2 and #3, nursed them, and did not use CIO until they were much older (around a year) and we knew it was more of a tantrum than an infant's beckoning for momma.
Infants have real needs until between 9-12 months. It isn't until they are older that they are having tantrums or exerting their will. You will be able to decide this as your child gets older and you know their personality.
I can honestly say that I have a much deeper relationship w/ #2 and #3 (that had a more ';natural'; baby experience). I still try to develop a good relationship w/ my oldest son, but it is difficult. We just never developed that ';bond'; that comes more easily and naturally through attentive mothering (nurturing).
Okay, so there's some lecturing in my answer - but I did use CIO w/ my first one, so in sum, this is my CIO experience and views. Hope it helps.
I let me son cry it out once at 6 months because he was so tired, but he kept fighting it no matter what I did. Even if I held him or rocked him, he would cry because he was just so tired but kept fighting his sleep. 10 minutes of him fussing in his crib and he fell right to sleep. 9 weeks is kind of small to do it, but it's your baby.
Have you tried getting the shirt you wore that day and swaddle him with it? When my son would stay with one of his grandmas they would have to lay him down with one of my shirts so he'd go to sleep.
Don't be afraid that a baby that young sleeping on you will never learn to sleep on his own. My baby slept her first two months on my chest only. Once she was three months old, I nursed her, held her for a moment and put her in he co-sleeper and she slept there peacefully. When babies get older they become more comfortable being on their own - without much heartbreaking crying involved.
My rule of thumb with crying is usually: If it is five minutes or less of complaining, baby can stand that. If it is longer or the kind of sound that indicates urgency, baby needs to go back on my arms.
My daughter did the same thing and she still does sometimes. I am by no means an expert because she is my first baby but this is what I did and it seems to work pretty good. I do the same check her to make sure she is dry burped and not hungry and I place her in the crib and turn her mobile on for her to look at. She usually laughes at that and then once it turns off she whines for about 5 minutes then off to sleep she is! I hope this is helpful to you. Remember no matter what I or any of the others have said he is your son and you have to be comfortable with whatever decesion you make. Also, no child is the same so try what you want and it might work and it may not, but you will find that out. Good luck!
I think he's a little young for that. He should be old enough to sleep through the night before you consider letting him cry it out. That being said, perhaps he's cold? My son used to wake up after being put down. We would wrap him in a blanket while we were holding him and then when he fell asleep we put him down wrapped in the warm blanket. Also how quiet is his room? If it's not cold, it might be the sound of your heart that's helping him sleep. Try a white noise machine on low.
I let my kids cry it out, just keep an eye on them while they are doing it. It is actually good for them because it helps their lungs develop. (so the doctor told me) and after a handful of crying it out they stopped and went to bed in their own bed. However I did get them that teddy bear that sound like the mothers heart to soothe them while sleeping.
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