OK, I will give you the secrets, if you follow them you will always be happy, I promise. You BOTH have to do this, make it a lifestyle, make it a character trait.
1. Make your spouse #1. If you receive pleasure from seeing them happy, YOU will be happy. If you compete for the attention, money, things, etc., you will not be happy
2. NEVER, EVER say bad words to your spouse, EVER. It is poison! Deadly poison! It is OK to disagree, even to be angry, but DO NOT call this person by bad names, make fun of them, ridicule what they do or say. If your spouse angers you or causes you a problem, say what it is and what is the problem it causes. DO not say ';Hey a**hole, you left your socks on the floor again'; You simply cannot. It is a knife to the heart and your spouse will bleed to death in time.
3. Remember, this is your SPOUSE, not your boyfriend. There is nothing about them that is dirty or shameful. Between you two all is safe, all is good. Be willing to experiment and be adventurous, there is nothing wrong with it, nothing is poison, demeaning, or degrading between two people in love. try it, you might like it, and maybe even you will take pleasure in pleasing your spouse.
4. Keep secrets between both of you, not from each other. And keep them secret! What is behind closed doors is for you only. You must be comfortable to say anything and do anything and not be ridiculed and not have your confidence broken. A couple should share very intimate moments and secrets, and it isn;t always about sex, it could be that you are afraid of the dark, it doesn't matter. If one of you is afraid of the dark, the other needs to learn to live with sleeping with a light on and not say it is ';stupid';
5. Always look for ways to please the other. when you have to send 43 emails for work, send another for your spouse. When you have to make 20 phone calls at work, call your spouse, say ';I love you, I am very busy, but I was thinking of you'; When you have to mail birthday cards to someone, mail a ';love'; card to your spouse. Everything you must do for work or life, learn to think of your spouse and give them one of whatever you are doing.
6. Make your home the place you WANT to be. It has to be safe and warm and free of stress, it must be the sanctuary, if it isn;t at home, where?
7. NO TV or work in the bedroom!
8. Kiss them whenever you can.
9. End every conversation, every note, every email with ';I love you'; Always it will be the last words they said to you. Say it 10 times a day, at least.
10. do as much as you can together. Help the other when you can. Always look for ways to help.
11. If your job interferes, cut back on the job, not on your spouse. Good wives and husbands are harder to find than good jobs.
12. Encourage and take pride in what the other does. Praise them for what they do.
13. Do this every day until you die
It is work, but I do not find it hard work. Today, my wife called me twice at work (I always answer, it is a cell phone ONLY her and the kids have the number for) she asked ';are you busy, can you talk'; I said ';Yes, for a few minutes'; she said ';I really miss you today, more than usual and I wanted to hear your voice'; The second time she said ';I am really glad I met you and we got married'; Do you think this is a problem? Do you think this interrupts me? Not at all.
Do these things every day and you will be happy. Good luck.Marriage Advice - I'm getting married in two months and am looking for any marriage advice from married people
The most important thing is lots of communication and always be open and honest with each other.Marriage Advice - I'm getting married in two months and am looking for any marriage advice from married people
I can only say communication. Don't be afraid to speak your mind. Don't bottle stuff in b/c you don't want to sound like a b*tch. If it bothers you then you need to talk about it. No matter how little or how big. That stuff you keep to yourself will resurface later on and it will be bigger than if you had just said something to begin with.
And one thing I always love is that me and my husband still say I love you everyday and we kiss each other good-bye. you need so many hugs and kisses a day to keep your soul alive.
Humor!!! Do not lose your sense of humor. Never stop dating and except them for who they are not who you want them to be. Don't be a right fighter, learn to compromise and stick to the issue during a argument. Remember MEN and WOMEN are different and chances are you will rarely see eye to eye on alot of things. Don't stop loving each other. Maintain the intimacy in the relationship (not just sex). If you or your hubby have a problem talk about it don't just blow it off and let it fester and mutate into some big ugly ordeal: )
just make sure that you have good communication and understand exactly what is expected of eachother! I didnt do it with the first one and ended up in a really bad divorce. now married to the greatest guy (pretty much my best friend) alot of marriages break because one or the other isnt ready for that type of comitment, or because they don't talk about finances.
Make compramises, Never lie even about the little stuff, Pick ur battles, count your blessing, be trusting and forgiving. and we all know we are right BUT let him win every now and then it will make him feel good about himself. be open and honest about everthing, even the taboo stuff. my man knows my cycle and if i need to poo (gross i know but we are nurses so its hard not to know that) never hide anything, they will find it. never do anything that you will regret, they will find out. make sure you tell him you love him at least once a day. ect....
After the honeymoon phase ends, remember marriage is a commitment, it is not always fun, sometimes you hate each other and then, you fall in love again...there are ups and downs...but you are in the marriage and it comes first...
Well maybe the most important things are: be ready for sacrifices and compromises because that's what it takes when people live together. Also differences in the mood for sex - one is going the be in a mood in the AM and the other in the PM. And the same with the ages - one is going to want it more when in the 20s and 30s and the other one after that
3-digit is right; stay together, and get ready for the long hall, because a good marriage will have a lot of bumpy rides. I have been married for 27 years it has not been easy, but when the times are good we remember the hard times and we have a good laugh. The love I and my husband have now is greater then we could ever imagined, and that came from never disrespecting one another, and never looking for comfort elsewhere no matter how hard things got.
learn to be his wife, and not his mother.
fact---- women want to change their men.
Men believe their women never change.
Jesus said,';Love the LORD your GOD with all your heart,
mind,and strenght. Love your neighbor as your self.';
Be your own Voice in your marriage %26amp; every part of your life. Read the book by Diane Sieg ';Stop Living Life Like An Emergency'; But in your case dont let it start, be your own person. I will be married 24 yrs. this june and my MOTHER INLAW, has always tried to be the ';wife'; in my marriage, I dont like her at all. Her and my husbands step dad go just about every where we go, yes including vacation. He real dad died 12 yrs ago...........I get sick of these two being up my *** all the time.
Just dont let know one try to pull a guilt trip on you be your own voice / person.
your other half comes first no matter what. and have fun, dont take things too seriously, take it as it comes, find time for each other, dont have kids too early, take it easy.
Right off make a date night and stick to it. It helps you keep in touch with each other without the distractions of daily life. The first year is usually the toughest. That is the time when you are really feeling each other out in your new roles. Remember to do the small things for each other. You don't have to spend a lot of money to really make someone's day. Even a little note in an email can go a long way. Good luck and congrats on your upcoming wedding.
listen to each other
Never, ever loose the connection! If there is a problem, WORK ON IT right away! Don't let a night go by without addressing issues. COMMUNICATE, COMMUNICATE, COMMUNICATE!
Listen!!! communicate!!!! dont go to bed mad!!! and dont let anyone interfer with your marriage,believe each other!!
Just know that it takes hard work from both of you. The fun doesn't always seem like that much fun when life starts to happen with the responsibilities. Always remember how you got to this point and it will always be your own special story.
I would advise anyone who is thinking about marriage. To get the big issues like children sex, finances talked out before the wedding. Some couples don't talk these things out. And later have problems because one wants kids the other one doesn't. One is heavy in debt and the other doesn't know. One of them likes and wants sex frequently. The other one thinks it's a once in awhile thing.
DONT
Communication is #1
Communication, honesty, and love. Its work and its worth it. YOu can commuincate all you want but its soo much better when you're honest.
Welcome to the world of the living Dead.
You will understand soon enough but it will be too late.
Always be willing to give what you want back, and be willing to be the first one to do it.
Always treat him with respect, and most likely he will return the favor.
Keep communication lines open. Don't nag. Be willing to listen as much as you talk.
Let him have his space once in a while, and do the same for yourself.
Make sure you're trying to meet most of his sexual needs and that he's meeting yours.
Make sure if something's wrong, you turn to your husband and not outside the marriage. (and the same goes for him.)
Don't talk about ALL of your problems to everybody. You might forgive him, but your friends and family WON'T!
Be willing to put forth 100% of your effort to make the marriage work. This 50/50, meet me half way crap is a bunch of crock! Sometimes one of you will have to pull more than your share of the load.
Laugh hard, and love a lot!
Give him a safe place to fall, and remember your vows, even during those times when temptation comes (and it will) and you'll do just fine!
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