Advice?? Only people in their mid 20's or older answer please?

This a long post so please bear with me.





So I met this guy a few weeks ago his name is John (he is fairly new in town). So we met through a mutual friend. We went out on a first date and it was awesome we even went for a long walk and we held hand and kissed. We really connected. We both want the same thing, we want to be in a serious relationship and we want to settle down and get married. We like each other very much.





So a few days after we had our date he had to fly back to New York (where he was before he moved down to where I live) to take care of some things and one thing he had to take care of wiped out his savings account so he is there now working for a company he previously worked for so he can get some money. They are paying him very well. So he has been gone for over 2 weeks and will be there for another 2 or 3 weeks working. The job he has where I live doesnt start until the end of October.





He says he wants to fly me to New York so we can spend some time together. We have been missing each other and we have talked and texted almost everyday since he has left. Well I want to fly and see him next weekend, BUT my parents are a big problem.


They arent going to like him because he has 3 kids with his ex fiancee (hes 30,Im in my mid 20's). I dont know how to tell them that Im going to fly up there to see him. Im living with them right now since Im back in school and they can be really nosy. I dont know how to break it to them that I met a nice guy and he and I want to spend some time together and I want to see him next weekend. What do I tell them? My mother can be extremely negative.Advice?? Only people in their mid 20's or older answer please?
Well, you are a grown woman, and you should follow your heart. You will eventually have to tell your parents what you are *going* to do. It's not like you need their permission. And even if they are extremely negative, it doesn't matter, because you are grown and can do what YOU think is best. Your parents are still gonna love you regardless of what you decide to do. You're in your mid 20s, so he's not that much older than you at all. Just tell them that you are doing what you think is right and that you really love this guy and want to give this a chance. Good luck.Advice?? Only people in their mid 20's or older answer please?
you are in your MID-20's. since when do people in their MID-20's need their parents approval to go somewhere?I understand if you do not want to hurt them or be disrespectful to them, but...you are in your MID-20's for crying out loud!you're gonna be the single old woman, not them.
Sounds like he just wants sex. Three kids and has not married her. Does not sound like the kind of person who wants to get married and settle down. Good Luck, you are going to need it. Remember a man will say anything to get in your pants.
Umm, it's ur life. You're an adult who can make your own descisions. You and your parents will most likely disagree on a few but you'll get over it and they should love you enough to understand. %26lt;3
Getting advice from anyone over 18 on here is hard to do, lol. I'm 25- so I'll give you my opinion :)





You should have a sit down with your mother and talk to her in a rational manor about your plans. Bottom line is that you are in your mid-twenties and you have to make your own decisions- which includes making your own mistakes now and then. Tell you her respect her, and value her opinions- that's why you wanted to be honest with her about the situation, rather than sneak off behind her back.





To me, it looks like you are planning to go- the best thing to do in this situation is to be upfront and honest about your plans. Tell her that you want to give it a shot with this guy- assure her that you are only going to spend a little time with him, that you won't be careless, or share his bed. I would advise you to get your own hotel room while you are there, as you don't know him that well- and you don't want to get yourself in an uncomfortable situation.





Second, if he is coming back the end of October- it may be better to just wait it out. I know that's not what you want to do- but it may be best in these circumstances. If he has 3 kids that's he's leaving behind, it's liable to be messy.
A very tough situation, since their ';control'; is over the roof and everything that goes with it and I take it you don't do much traveling, where a trip to NY would fit into a typical pattern %26amp; they don't know about your dating him when he was in your area. You'll need to be truthful to the point of where you're going and why....the children is a matter perhaps left for later, but you need to explain everything from how you met (leaving out the person's name who brought things together) and how it's gone to this point. It may not be enough, but place everything out there.
I'm sorry but I am only 16 yrs old, and hope that you don't mind my answering your post.





I read it just to read it, but would really like to tell you what I think. So if you really don't mind, I'd like to---even though you specifically stated that it was directed at ppl in their mid 20's and older.





So here's what I think. Everyone usually know their parents, and clearly you do know yours enough to anticipate their disapproval of your boyfriend---due to the situation and circumstances he is in.





Mind you, does he have custody of the kids or his ex does? You didn't mention that, so thought I ask. If they live with him, it'd probably be more of a problem with your parents---I would think---just because they don't want you to seriously get involve with a fully packaged man, and later on possibly becoming the ';misses'; who has to be the wife not only to her husband, but a mother to his children from another relationship as well.





Just what I think why they would resent him more than ever IF he happens to have custody of his kids. And if not, there would be less tensions and concerns on your parents part.





I hate to break it to you, but at your age you are a fully matured adult who should be able to know what's good for her and DOES NOT need her parents to dictate to her what she should or shouldn't do. I know you live under their roof, and therefore feels that you are obligated to listen to them. Ultimately, there will come a time when they will need to just let you make a clear conscience decision like any responsible adult would, and trusts that you will use good judgements when doing so.





If you truly love this guy (and it sounds like you do), then do find a right place and right time to break the news to your parents. With a genuine smile (the kinds that daughters usually give their mothers in needing an approval for something that they want) tell your mom and/or dad, and hope for the best.





If I were you, tell them the situation and tell then how you really feel about the guy, and that if there are ever conflicts that comes up between the two of you, you WILL NOT go crying to them for consolation or assistance of any kind. Just to show them how you truly feel about him, and that all you are asking from them are their blessings, not their approval.





Hope I helped a little.





Good luck.
just remember thats its a rare and wonderful thing to meet a man that you connect and feels so strongly about.. if you let they guy go you will regret it. your mom and dad followed their hearts and make their own decisions... now its your time.





you are in your mid-20's --- you have been waiting for this feeling and connection all your life so go to see him. encourage this meeting and put your parents opinions to the back of your mind now. They will come round in time. You have to follow your heart now and see what happens. If he is the love of your life and treats you well then your parents will like him in time. good luck!
Wow. That is a lot for any mother. It would be for you if it was your child talking.





Tread careful here. 3 Children so young without a thought of marriage (fiancee is his word to smooth that out), account wiped out, travel to NY? It just gives a bad vibe.





None of us here know this person. What I do know is that people can be very deceitful.





This is a tough call, one that only you can make. My only advice here is to be very very careful. There are some skeletons that have not come out yet and you at least want to be close to home if they do.





He should come down to see you or should wait.





Good Luck
Well your parents are always going to be your parents and they will always be looking out for your best interest that is what parents do. I don't know the situation between him and his ex fiance but to have three kids and no marriage would send off red flags to parents. I am not saying he is a bad guy or that circumstances happened that kept him from marrying her but it is odd that he never married her and they are concerned about you getting hurt. You are an adult and if you want to give this relationship try why not go to NYC. It is your life not your parents and my suggestion they don't need to know that you are going to visit him.
If i were you I wouldn't tell them. I know what it's like to have parents who are waaaay too nosey and very negative. Had i told them everything i've done while living with them...i would've never had a chance to experience some great moments in my life. If you tell them that your going to NY to spend time with a man who has 3 kids and a ex wife...they are going to demand that you don't go. They are going to give you a hard time about this new guy in your life and right now things are too fresh between the two of you to even have a formal introduction. I would wait until he's situated back in your home town. Continue on seeing eachother and see where it goes. Don't be so quick to tell your parents about him. Once things are serious then you can fill them in and by that time if your in love...it won't matter what they say because it won't stop you from wanting to be with him if he's a good guy.





In the meantime...tell them you are taking a trip with some friends. And don't miss this opportunity to spend that time with him. Plus NY is beautiful. Take it from a fellow New Yorker...you won't be disappointed. There are lots of things to do...to see...to experience. You only live once! Good Luck!